https://www.charissabrim.com/blog daily 0.75 2022-12-06 https://www.charissabrim.com/blog/how-to-love-yourself-when-self-love-makes-your-skin-crawl monthly 0.5 2022-12-06 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/601606bcdff4fa32d6aab58a/1644513456955-PQU0PQXHM273BDZHRFRH/Self+Love+Blog+Post+%281%29.png Blog - How To Love Yourself When ‘Self Love’ Makes Your Skin Crawl https://www.charissabrim.com/blog/alime monthly 0.5 2022-02-10 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/601606bcdff4fa32d6aab58a/1634571968329-5MS8ZZSZL0LTY4AY1KZ8/img-1771.jpg Blog - A Lime https://www.charissabrim.com/blog/allergictocommunion monthly 0.5 2021-10-18 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/601606bcdff4fa32d6aab58a/1625571591960-ZLX5127M6GHIP29Q2BWW/560342-10151054314291177-1545869566-n.jpg Blog - Allergic To Communion https://www.charissabrim.com/blog/thefixherupper monthly 0.5 2021-07-06 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/601606bcdff4fa32d6aab58a/1624303923925-3V5US4C0RLDRA4S7VZQS/med_res.jpg Blog - The Fix-Her-Upper https://www.charissabrim.com/blog/outofyourmind monthly 0.5 2021-06-14 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/601606bcdff4fa32d6aab58a/1623710743743-1KC56T9IVJA5SO3FCANN/Untitled+design+%2815%29.png Blog - Out of your mind https://www.charissabrim.com/blog/somisunderstood monthly 0.5 2021-06-14 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/601606bcdff4fa32d6aab58a/1623107942110-PX6CQAUBAB6A2NCQITFU/IMG_3656.jpg Blog - SO MISUNDERSTOOD https://www.charissabrim.com/blog/thenoswedidntsay monthly 0.5 2021-06-07 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/601606bcdff4fa32d6aab58a/1621861377387-50MKZ2NQ5L4591QTT4B7/high_res+%282%29.jpg Blog - THE NO’S WE DIDN’T SAY https://www.charissabrim.com/blog/befriendingourpain monthly 0.5 2021-05-24 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/601606bcdff4fa32d6aab58a/1621289688985-L753W3UG6799UU28QBTE/med_res.jpg Blog - BEFRIENDING OUR PAIN https://www.charissabrim.com/blog/iwishsomeonetoldme monthly 0.5 2021-05-10 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/601606bcdff4fa32d6aab58a/1620650026860-4LNSMH3R083XYS7DK5RI/med_res.jpg Blog - I Wish Someone Told Me https://www.charissabrim.com/blog/managingourtriggers monthly 0.5 2021-05-10 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/601606bcdff4fa32d6aab58a/1619782988754-7G144TKRBMDFYHVE2CWI/Untitled+design+%288%29.png Blog - MANAGING OUR TRIGGERS https://www.charissabrim.com/blog/isitjustme monthly 0.5 2021-04-09 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/601606bcdff4fa32d6aab58a/1617393326051-HCSX20SLQ98T70B0Y6MG/Untitled+design%281%29.png Blog - IS IT JUST ME? https://www.charissabrim.com/blog/whydontirememberwhathappened monthly 0.5 2021-04-04 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/601606bcdff4fa32d6aab58a/1617411072933-FBLDRPG25TZ9E526VXZ0/Untitled+design%283%29.png Blog - WHY DON’T I REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED? https://www.charissabrim.com/blog/keepingyourheadabovewater monthly 0.5 2021-05-17 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/601606bcdff4fa32d6aab58a/1617409153170-LPW75Q5P5RHT0VJ6IENX/Untitled+design%282%29.png Blog - KEEPING YOUR HEAD ABOVE WATER https://www.charissabrim.com/blog/category/Feelings monthly 0.5 https://www.charissabrim.com/blog/category/Why+We+Tell+Our+Stories monthly 0.5 https://www.charissabrim.com/blog/category/Memory monthly 0.5 https://www.charissabrim.com/blog/category/Knowledge+is+Power monthly 0.5 https://www.charissabrim.com/blog/category/You%27re+Not+Alone monthly 0.5 https://www.charissabrim.com/blog/category/Vulnerability monthly 0.5 https://www.charissabrim.com/about daily 0.75 2022-04-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/601606bcdff4fa32d6aab58a/1612061456143-QBPE7V9G9QBYCSOE7K6F/Charissa-29.jpg About https://www.charissabrim.com/contact daily 0.75 2022-07-05 https://www.charissabrim.com/home daily 1.0 2023-05-23 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/601606bcdff4fa32d6aab58a/1614831791306-NRV1LUH3BZF8XOY1230E/Charissa-80.jpg Home - I live stories, tell stories, and love stories. When I hear others’ stories, I feel a little less alone and a little more equipped. I hope you’ll feel seen and empowered in my stories too. https://www.charissabrim.com/what-to-expect-here daily 0.75 2021-03-11 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/601606bcdff4fa32d6aab58a/1614813608098-UP0QCD6YMQNRWQQ615CG/Charissa-68.jpg What To Expect Here - this is a place This is a place where you can sneak by with your Doritos and wine to feel seen, made sense of and empowered. I’m convinced the less we know, the bigger we mess things up. My responses to my pain created a whole lot of messes that I wish I had known to expect, and could have made sense of in real time. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/601606bcdff4fa32d6aab58a/1614813702505-JTI7Q7GAZR9QCTOXTS4H/Charissa-81.jpg What To Expect Here - THE BRIDGE I am, however, a storyteller. Coupled with therapy, written word has greatly impacted my healing. While it is important to find representation, my goal is not to throw the narratives of my personal experience on you. Rather, I want to add a human element to the clinical studies and research that makes sense of our responses- to bridge the academic with the everyday. I like having a hand on the tap, able to control how much reflection I let in. The truth is sometimes I can handle more “deep diving” than other times. That’s what’s amazing about the pointed ambiguity of stories and metaphors. It brings to light just what your mind is begging you to acknowledge in the bite sizes that it can actually process. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/601606bcdff4fa32d6aab58a/1612062257493-74SV3ZQE7RGQ0PJLDJW9/Charissa-36.jpg What To Expect Here - TO THE BRIM My hope is that my experience is a comfort- a space for the funny girl whose trauma response landed her fist through a wall to see that she’s not alone, she’s not crazy (well I mean, no more than your average nut) and that there is a way to live a full brimming life. Because where there is a trauma response, there is also trauma growth. And that’s some good shit. https://www.charissabrim.com/start-here daily 0.75 2021-04-02 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/601606bcdff4fa32d6aab58a/1614744144869-4JRBOFV6332TP38M91GB/Charissa-74.jpg Start Here - If your perception of me is that I’m funny, bubbly, and positive, you’re not wrong! But also. I’ve punched through more than one wall in my lifetime, and I’ve even cussed out a cocktail server because I was told I “couldn’t sit there” (yipes!). There are reasons for this anger, but what’s more, there are reasons for this seemingly inconsistent personality. When we experience trauma, our brains engage in a version of extreme compartmentalization. We subconsciously exile our pain so we can carry on. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/601606bcdff4fa32d6aab58a/1614743949088-BFWHCPCOZ8GQGE2BRFLO/Charissa-81.jpg Start Here - IS THIS NORMAL? But then we make it through the traumatic event, we “survive” (so to speak), and we end up the life of the party who can’t get out of bed. The person who helps others see the positive in life, but cries the whole drive home because life is hopeless. Sound familiar? The more I experienced my perceived hypocritical behavior, the more I paid attention to the why behind it. Were my responses “normal” for someone who had experienced sexual assault? Was I the only one having rage blackouts? Was it strange I couldn’t remember a few years there in the middle, or the details of such a defining and impactful event? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/601606bcdff4fa32d6aab58a/1615068407960-6R66D9GPYRH8R10JC58C/Charissa-68%2B%25282%2529.jpg Start Here - REASONABLY UNREASONABLE I had a feeling I was onto something, that there was actually a reason behind my unreasonable reactions. I needed to figure it out. My pain was leaking all over my life, and I was accidentally sabotaging my relationships- again. But my experience wasn’t exactly dinner table conversation, so I fed my isolation and starved my vulnerability by scouring the impersonal internet for resources. I learned about the book The Body Keeps the Score. It was so impactful, but it took me two years to get to page 43. Where were the funny and digestible anecdotes that made me feel less crazy and more human? https://www.charissabrim.com/searching-for-our-stories daily 0.75 2021-03-29 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/601606bcdff4fa32d6aab58a/1614745265377-02LVE2TC09F83SZL53A0/Charissa-83.jpg Searching For Our Stories - not bad enough I remember when the #metoo movement began. My Facebook feed flooded with the hashtags and disclosures. At first I was comforted by the tragedy that I wasn’t alone. But then… the movement where my story was supposed to belong made me feel more ostracized than ever. At the mention of #metoo, I shut off. I couldn’t make it through the stories meant to connect us. They were graphic, I was triggered. I slowly accepted the narrative that my story wasn’t “bad” enough to have had an effect on me. After all someone had to explain to me that my experience was rape. Clearly it hadn’t been a big deal. But it had been. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/601606bcdff4fa32d6aab58a/1614812536539-Z46LLY8R6JOMZMJ4O2KN/Charissa-69.jpg Searching For Our Stories - there is space As women we are intuitively and culturally socialized to compare and dismiss ourselves at every opportunity. Maybe you too have had an experience your thoughts timidly wander to at very curious moments; you’re not really sure why, or what you have permission to call it. Maybe you typed out #metoo years ago and deleted it after you read the stories other people were posting. Maybe you’ve given up under the impossible “burden of proof,” or retreated from others condemning you for the behavior neither of you understand. Before you look for one more reason why your experience doesn’t belong here, let me tell you right out- it does. There is space for your story on these pages. There is space for your story in your life. There is space for your story in your relationships. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/601606bcdff4fa32d6aab58a/1614813918585-JILX41NO2KZAI2LNACYV/Charissa-38.jpg Searching For Our Stories - victim or survivor The very words used in describing us are narrow and exclusive: victim or survivor. I’ve seen pop-culture caricature my experience in the moody goth with a backstory OR the promiscuous power suit ready to burn it all down (herself included). But what about the woman who warmly fills a room, makes people laugh and drinks herself to sleep each night? What about the woman who leads a team at work, but on the drive home sits in silence and feels a sense of powerlessness she can’t quite name? There seemed to be such nuance in how “victim” and “survivor” played out in my own life. Surely I wasn’t the only one. https://www.charissabrim.com/fine-thanks daily 0.75 2021-03-05 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/601606bcdff4fa32d6aab58a/1614814562236-SD2VE5HVU2HNBDUVTUA4/Charissa-81.jpg Fine, Thanks - Dogpiling Pain It felt like I was being asked to move away from the distractions keeping me afloat in exchange for a more tempered (read as *sad*) life. I had been trying to avoid this! But here’s the truth: life carries on regardless of our pain. Yes, I was fine... for a while. And then over time I found myself confronted by dogpiling pain. It wouldn’t quit! Some of these additional traumas were because life can be a real beezy. But while I didn’t realize it at the time, an honest inventory eventually revealed I caused a good deal of my pain too. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/601606bcdff4fa32d6aab58a/1614814934133-UFX0ACP0JSQFW8IVGUVA/Charissa-82.jpg Fine, Thanks - start small I now understand I was living out a textbook trauma response in recklessly choosing to get high at Bible College instead of accepting the concern of my friends. All I knew then was I was in my twenties, and the wheels were already falling off. But it felt like a lot of work to crawl out of the layers of this pain. So I started small. I looked for easy ways to add meaning to the ordinary happenings of my life. I did this to keep from tapping out, but it had another surprising effect. These anchoring stories helped me lean out of my pain and into my present. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/601606bcdff4fa32d6aab58a/1614493243755-2SM4V0FMN802A34KYRRF/Charissa-25.jpg Fine, Thanks - THREATENING THE BALANCING ACT Diving into our experiences can feel like a threat to what we have going- our balancing act. I would argue, however, it actually helps stabilize and preserve the good parts of us, the parts that know how to identify pain in others and respond with compassion. Eventually my fog began to lift, and rather than sinking into my own black hole at the mention of another’s pain, I felt inclined to comfort and connect with others feeling this same estrangement. https://www.charissabrim.com/resources daily 0.75 2022-07-01 https://www.charissabrim.com/whats-your-goto-responder daily 0.75 2022-12-08 https://www.charissabrim.com/talkaboutit daily 0.75 2022-12-08 https://www.charissabrim.com/articles daily 0.75 2022-12-07 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/601606bcdff4fa32d6aab58a/06936046-5251-48c6-a6a5-675d436adfcf/Screenshot+2022-04-01+105701.png Articles - Unresolved Trauma: Why we Need to Process it and not Minimize it to Heal Unresolved Trauma: Why we Need to Process it and not Minimize it to Heal https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/601606bcdff4fa32d6aab58a/16612757-1c65-433c-9a3d-c8690c8ce073/IMG_0526.jpg Articles - Traumatic Memories: Is it Possible to Heal When the Details Feel Fuzzy? 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